By Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS
Over the years, Bill’s mind had been planted with negative seeds. Raised by an angry and hostile mother who never recovered over his father leaving, she took her frustration out on the little boy breaking his spirit with relentless criticism and contempt. The negative seeds she planted took root as he believed her insidious lies. Bill was taught he was worthless and would amount to nothing. His was to be a wasted life.
Those lies cost Bill a great deal as an adult. He dropped out of high school, has been divorced twice, is a recovering alcoholic, and has difficulty staying employed. Bill doesn’t do well with authority. Any direction he receives is taken as criticism, which leads to anger. When one of his wives or a supervisor would question him, Bill felt emotions like those he experienced when his mother would unleash her relentless criticism and mockery. Feeling wounded, Bill had learned to fight back and then withdraw (or quit). It is a pattern he started as a young teenager.
Now as an adult, Bill is beginning the process of removing the rotted roots that have taken hold in his mind due to those negative seeds. He is busy replacing them with new, healthy seeds that will allow him to rebuild his self-worth. How is he accomplishing this? Bill has learned he is indeed a unique individual. He knows he is loved and accepted unconditionally. Who is this individual that has made a remarkable impact on Bill’s life? Jesus Christ.
After spending time in therapy processing the pain and grieving his lost childhood, Bill turned to Christ to help him see that even with all his brokenness he is a child of God. Through Scripture reading, prayer, meditation and finding a good church where he can engage in fellowship, Bill has worked hard in building a relationship with Jesus. And while he has come far, Bill knows there is much work left to be accomplished.
There are still feelings of anger that arise when he perceives he is being criticized. However, he is quicker to identify those emotions and has learned coping mechanisms to keep them in check. He still struggles in forgiving his mother. But he believes the more he allows Christ to remove the negative seeds the more likely it is that forgiveness will come. He is learning that by leaning on Christ and allowing Him to lead the way a renewed soul and heart is possible.
“At that very time, Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses, and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind.” Luke 7:21
Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS is a licensed, Christian counselor with a private practice in Marietta, GA. He is certified in treating sexual/pornography addictions. Among his clients have been MLB and NFL players as well as television personalities. He is the author of the book “Removing Your Shame Label”. Eddie can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.